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" LOVE SURVIVES "

Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.

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  2005.04.09  04.31
" HEY !!! "

" Hey i`m back !! .... it's been a long time since i visited this site .... whew , the last 4 months was the busiest days of my life .... i started a small business with my auntie Terry here , a joint project that made us close again for the second time .... 

Talking about business .... it's just a small boutique , "Magayon Boutique" made a debut last january 5th 2005 , the name derived from my native dialect (bicol) which means "beautiful" , yap certainly it`s a beautiful simple boutique that contains fashionable - sexy clothes , trend shoes , accessories , and some phil. products to complete the image of Magayon .

I dont know if i can always visit my LJ ... but i'm trying to organize my sked from time to time ... it's really hard to be a mother - wife - career woman to put into one ! .... not to mention that i'm  7 month - preggy ! .... hahahhaha !! ... anyway , i'm starting to like it  . "              





Mood: accomplished
 
 


 
  2004.12.17  17.31
an evaluation

Two weeks more and it will be year 2005 .... i kept on thinking about the past or rather say recalling the events of the past .... 2004 happened to be the most colorful , joyful , dramatic year of my life . I dont know but partly , i hate half of it .

This is the year of testing and evaluating my inner self , a year of tormenting to a certain fantasies that me myself knows it does'nt exists ..... a battling between heart and mind , reasons from principles , real from 'real , emotions and feelings ,  fact and reality ?

I dont want to answer those questions anymore , i want to lead a peaceful life , be happy of what i have now and follow my faith wherever it takes me to lead . I dont want to make wishes anymore coz it always lead me to a certain emptiness ... all i want is to be at peace to my inner self , no more no less . 

          





Mood: grateful
 
 


 
  2004.12.14  22.59
another x-mas card

You're a very SPECIAL FRIEND , Friendship is a special gift that gives the heart a year-round lift

December 7 , 2004

Dearest SHY and family ,

" Friendship is one of life's happiest gifts when it's shared with someone as wonderful as you . "

Love ,
PHOEBE and ACHILLES and ANDREI

PS
Dear Ninang SHY ,

May this Christmas brings you a wonderful and Happy Life . Hope Sayaka is fine and in the best of health . Ask about us we're doin fine and mommy is doin great too . Tito Teddy and tita Ruth will be having their wedding on Dec 20 , mommy and daddy will be one of the "abays" hope you're here so you will be one of them too .
For sure tito Ching will attend their wedding just like the wedding of tito Ram and tita Glenny last Sept . Tito Ching was here and he wants to say that he misses you so much .
Just give my hugs and kisses to SAYAKA .

Love ,
ARCHIE ( Phoebs eldest son )



Mood: cold
 
 


 
  2004.12.14  22.38
christmas cards

A Christmas greetings from my first love , my ex-boyfriend :

December 6 , 2004

SHY and family ,

" Jesus came into the world . May his birth bring peace to you this Christmas and all year through . "

Do you celebrate x-mas out there ? ako dito lang sa seminaryo .... it's been 8 years now that i'm celebrating away from home .... we did'nt have a x-mas celebration together , did we ? ... Anyway , simply greeting you this yuletide season makes it matter though we're distance afar .

Always remember , I will always be here okey .....

MERRY CHRISTMAS SHY ! 

give also my greetings there , to your husband and lovely Sayaka .

Always ,

CHING    

 





Mood: sad
 
 


 
  2004.12.14  16.45
Hey , Christmas is here !

Christmas is fast approaching but the spirit of it does'nt fit the busy people of Japan . It's so seldom you can see those x-mas lights and x-mas trees inside their houses ... for them it's a waste of time and 25th is just another ordinary working day so no hassle at all .

Thank goodness department stores and commercial buildings tend to follow the trend of x-mas ... the only place you could see and feel the spirit of it ... but i guess it is all but business , one way of promoting it ... no more no less .

I miss the Philippines , the carols , the simbang gabi , the exchanging gifts , the foods , the party , colorful decorations , etc. and the christmas there ! ....

One good way of spending x-mas here is DISNEYLAND ... so i guess it's the only way . Anyway ... MERRY CHRISTMAS to all !!!      

     





Mood: cold
 
 


 
  2004.11.29  18.47
a birthday card from a friend

A birthday card from my friend Jinky and Jomar : For a Special Friend's Birthday  

November 26 , 2004

SHY ,

" Special " is a word for friends who stand out in our lives ... It's a word for friends who have a part in some of our warmest memories . " Special " is a word just exactly right for you . HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! i love you friend ... 

May you have many more birthdays to come ... Wishing you good health always , love , prosperity , peace and harmony in your family .

I miss you friend ... Thanks for bringing Jomar in my life ... pray for us .

Happy Birthday ... TSUP !!!

Lovelots ,

Jinky and Jomar

PS : Kiss Sayaka for me ... hi to your husband .   

( inserted is a very sweet picture of the lovers )





Mood: amused
 
 


 
  2004.11.27  16.33
happy birthday to me

Yesterday , November 26 , was my birthday ... i just turned 29 , matured at age but very much young at heart ... hahahaha !

Had a simple dinner last night together with my family at 'Jonathan's Diner', no particular event coz  we had to get home early for it's too cold and my preggy sickness strikes again .

To sum it all , papa gave me a pair of earrings as a gift and my pretty adorable Sayaka sang a birthday song for me ! ... oh how sweet ! ... that was the greatest gift i'd ever had in my 29 years , not to mention that i did'nt blow the candles in my cake but my baby Sayaka did ! 

That was my sweet , memorable birthday .        





Mood: happy
 
 


 
  2004.11.08  23.40
hectic monday

MONDAY goes this way :

5:00 am - - my waking time to served papa's breakfast and prepared his clothes to wear at work ... an ideal wife ? ... we just want to eat breakfast together . 

6:00 am -- back to sleep again

8:05 am -- wake up for the second time to prepared breakfast for Sayaka and prepared our clothes to wear .... i had a morning appointment to my doctor .

9:10 am -- hurriedly entering ' Tsukamoto  ' clinic for my check - up , a little bit late , 10 minutes late actually .... and  the japanese hate that habit you know .

10:30 am -- at long last the 'ordeal' was finished , my baby is okey and time to get home .

11:00 am -- at home .... checked phone calls and emails and etc ....

11:30 am -- had a good chat with my friend Tinsel in yahoo ... then suddenly an earthquake ! 

12:00 am -- a lunch date with my friend Charrie and her kid at Bamiyan , another chinese restaurant .

1:00 pm -- coffee at Hamilton Hotel for an appointment for ' kimono ' for Charrie's 7 yr old daughter Reika .... an old japanese tradition - children who ages 1 , 3 , 7 and 20 must wear the traditional kimono's for goodluck sake and happiness .... well , it's Sayaka's turn next year .

2:30 pm -- at the city hall for my papers and etc ... 

3:30 pm -- at home at last .... so tired! ...  went to bed and take a nap . 

Whew , what a day !!! so hectic ...... now can't get myself to sleep .... but i have to for my baby's sake ....  goodnight .                 

 

  

 





Mood: calm
 
 


 
  2004.11.07  20.58
happy birthday papa

Just came home from a dinner date with papa and Sayaka , it's papa's natal day so we had this simple family celebration .... simple dinner in 'Cook-yu-han-ten' , a chinese family cuisine . After dinner we had to leave the place immediately coz i was'nt feeling good again , my 'preggy sickness' strikes again . That's for tonight coz I'm really so tired .... goodnight !          





Mood: sleepy
 
 


 
  2004.11.02  18.08
no activities at all

A day of 'nausea and vomiting' had passed .... the feeling was undescribable , the only activities i'd done was to sleep and sleep and more sleep . Sound boring ? well for a preggy mama like me it's a normal thing or rather say much more like 'normal thing' .

Sayaka's been so nice and so understanding today .... she did'nt disturb me when i was sleeping and did'nt gave me any tantrums at all , she just played by herself and watched disney videos for hours .... i love you baby for that and thanks for being so understanding today .





Mood: lazy
 
 


 
  2004.10.23  17.07
" on the way again "

" A few weeks ago i had this ' strange feelings ' that made my world go round and round , then suddenly my monthly period stopped .... so i went to my doctor yesterday to stopped worrying .... and finally the result .... I'm 6 weeks pregnant ! 

Oh my , what a joy to have a baby again and a great relief when i saw my baby's very first picture on the tv screen ( a heartbeat in a round-pear-shaped ) , very small yet full of life .

My husband gave me flowers and a kiss , Sayaka gave me lots of kiss and lots of tantrums as her first sign of jealousy , knowing someone is coming to divide our love and attention .... really human being by nature is very sensitive , hahahaha !

As a pregnant mama there's only one thing i have to sacrifice , my night life ! .... no smoking , no beers , no sake , no liquors and etc .... all for the love of my baby . Whew , what a life ! "

 




Mood: happy
 
 


 
  2004.10.16  17.52
a party

Yesterday me and Sayaka attended Yutaka's birthday party , my cousin turned 10 and bigger than his age . Me and my tita Terry dont talk much coz we had a long time fight and the relationship does'nt worked out well , she's my only relative here in Japan but we're not that close at present ... i hate her for being so bossy and pakialamera of my life ... she hates me for not listening her dictatorship , we are a world apart and very much incompatible in opinions in life ... i wish her to mind her own business and let me handle mine ! ... she's not my mother for goodness sake !



Mood: pissed off
 
 


 
  2004.09.30  23.47
value of love

" A certain friend gave me this amazing story that made me think , feel and comprehend the value of life and the love itself ..... "

VALUE OF LOVE

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived ; Happiness , Sadness , Knowledge , and all the others , including Love . One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean . So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave .

Love was the only one that stayed . She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment . When the island was almost totally under , love decided it was time to leave . She began looking for someone to ask for help . Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat .

Love asked , " Richness , can i come with you on your boat ? " Richness answered , " I'm sorry , but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere " . Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel . Love cried out , " Vanity , help me please . " " I can't help you " , Vanity said , " You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat . "

Next , Love saw Sadness passing by , Love said , " Sadness , please let me go with you . " Sadness answered , " Love , I'm sorry , but , i just need to be alone now . " Then , Love saw Happiness . Love cried out , " Happiness , please take me with you . " But Happiness was so overjoyed that he did'nt hear Love calling to him .

Love began to cry . Then , she heard a voice say , " Come Love , I will take you with me " . It was an elder . Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name . When they arrived on land the elder went on his way .

Love realized how much she owed the elder . Love then found Knowledge and asked , " Who was it that helped me ? " " It was Time ", Knowledge answered . " But why did Time help me when no one else would ? " Love asked .

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity , answered , " Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is . "  

 

[ ... dedicated to my friend Tinsel and all the people in love ... hoping for the greatest value of LOVE in their hearts ... ]

       





Mood: loved
 
 


 
  2004.09.30  01.09
Sagittarians

All about the astrology Star-Sign SAGITTARIUS

Sagittarius are born between November 22nd and December 21st

Sagittarius is a FIRE sign

HONESTY is the key to your happiness although it can make you seem at times somewhat insensitive . Your keen sense of adventure will ensure that your life is never dull . You prefer to live life on the edge , travel plans are never far off as you venture into new and daring pursuits . You can sometimes be cynical and try to analyze things too much , but sometimes you should just let life be . You also have a philosophical side that comes out during even the most heated discussions . 

Planetary Ruler : Jupiter

Compatible Star-Signs : Leo , Aries , Libra and Aquarius

Sagittarius Gemstones : Topaz , Blue Quartz , Diamond

( Ads by Gooooogle )

" ... sometimes ads like this speaks the whole truth about yourself ... oh my it's 1:35 am , but i'm still awake ! ... my insomia's strike again , need to find some pill to sleep .... goodnight ...." 

 

 





Mood: insomiac
 
 


 
  2004.09.21  22.13
tuesday's events

Wake up at 9:30 am , gave late breakfast to Sayaka , a glass of milk and some pieces of honey doughnuts , while my baby is taking her breakfast , i hurriedly preparing our clothes to wear ... we'll have a date with our neighbor friend Charrie and her daughter Reika .

We left at 10:15 and went by to a 20-minute drive shopping mall , Jusco ... check first my bank account and proceed to window shopping , finding the best buy items of the late-summer-early-autumn sale ..... i got this pair of silver sexy shoes for just 500 yen , some white photo frames , accessories for my papa's car , toys and some stuffs ...

At 12:00 we proceed at the first floor of Jusco for lunch , me and my friend both agreed to take an Italian food so we enter Siezeriya , the famous family restaurant at the shopping mall . I ordered 'pecaronni' , 'pan zeriya' , yakiniku vegetable salad , kid-zeriya set for my baby and a glass of red wine .

Sayaka's having troubled with her 'tantrums' and boredom so we had a quick lunch and proceed to a game center at the second floor where my baby's heart delighted with happiness at the sight of 'merry-go-round' , game machines , lots of toys and etc... you could feel her excitement and happiness that every child feels at that place ... really it's a child's world .

At 3:30 pm we enter Starbucks for some cappuccino , milk for Saya , and some cookies .... i'm so tired , my feet hurt , my head aches coz Sayaka dont want to leave that 'bullshit'-waste-of-money crane machine ! .... my baby is just 2 years old but she act as if she's 5 and knows how to handle that machine ... she kept complaining with her baby-bubbly-words followed by a loud scream ! ....  good heavens ! , i miss the Phil., my relatives , where everybody could took good care of her .... 

At 4:30 we decided to go home coz Sayaka fell asleep .... so tired of playing and running  around at the center lobby of the mall .

A day of tuesday fun ends again , me and my friend both agreed to have fun next time without our kids .... hhmmmnn, maybe next time to a certain bar .... well , until then .  





Mood: tired
 
 


 
  2004.09.17  14.11
priceless call

" I made a call again ... this time to someone special ... am i crazy ? it's a long miles away from home , not to mention the cost ! ... it's an overseas call silly !
The prize of hearing just the voice of someone special's a burden to one's pocket ! ... hay , it's my life ... anyway , I'm happy ! and the feeling i have now is priceless ! "



Mood: happy
 
 


 
  2004.09.16  23.48
international call

Had a brief 'chit-chat' with Ted ..... a few moments of talked that leads back to the memories of summer fun .... Magayon Festival , Maramba Time , Karaoke's , Biggs , Ret , airports , motorbikes , san mig lites .... crying session ( hahahaha ) and of course the fun and excitement !

It's a chat of happiness , knowing we're all miles apart .... the people , the friendship , the memories , the adventures , the affection and the LOVE will always be there .... in our hearts .

One of our friend Ram , is getting married on 25th of this month , we can't attend it but .... wishing for his happiness he deserves to have .Kampai my friend , say goodbye to the singleblessedness and welcome to another phase of life .





Mood: good
 
 


 
  2004.09.15  00.43
" a secret letter "

Dear  ------- ,

O-henji o kako to omoinagara , tsui kaki-sobirete shimaimashita .O-yurushi kudasai . Ikaga o-sugoshi desu-ka ? Benkyo wa do desu ka ? 

Watashi-tachi wa mina genki desu . Sayaka ga ni-sai ni narimashita . Eigo to Nihonggo issho-kemmei ni shaberimasu , musume wa totemo genki desu . Watashi wa saikin PC ni kyomi o mochi-hajimete imasu . 

Anata no koto itsumo kangaemasu , wasuraremasen . Ima made , aishitemasu ..... 

Dozo , o-karada ni o-kiotsukete , o-sukoyaka ni o-sugoshi kudasai . Jikan ga arimashitara , o-tayori kudasai .

SHY

    





Mood: content
 
 


 
  2004.09.12  11.38
recuperate

At long last I'm okey now , glad to be back again ... back from a week of agonising pain , a week of boredom and anxiety , a week of disgusting pain that crippled my mind , a week that i dont want to remember at all .
I'm here again starting to recuperate , physically , mentally and emotionally (?)...
The past days taught me a lesson , a lesson about loving first no other than myself ... i have to take good care of myself first before i could take good care of others , or else i could'nt function at all .



Mood: calm
 
 


 
  2004.08.31  07.06
" typhoon "

Today is a typhoon tuesday , you cannot hear anything rather than the angry blowing of the wind , the struck of the lightning , the hot and humid air , the softness pouring of the rain .....  why is it that 'she's' so angry ? what is it that 'she' wants ? why is it that 'she' wants to destroy everything ?..... she's uncontrollable like hell , the emotionless freak , the monster of it's own and a menace to evryone .

Yet despite everything ... she kept me think , think of something unusual ... 'the beauty inside of it' ... she's like a woman of excitement , a woman in-needs , a woman with fears , a woman with mixed feelings and emotions ..... always in search and in-search ... searching for something who has'nt there , unsearchable , and maybe searching for something did'nt exist at all .

This never ending searching makes her wild , disturbed , emotionless , frightened , and in pain ... the hurt is unmeasurable , satisfaction is beyond the limit of it's own .

Typhoon is like people , always in search , search and in-search ... always rotates for finding happiness , showing their wits and wickedness , their dreams and aspirations , their braveness and weakness , their pain and emotions ..... their hatred ? .... and their Love .      

 

 

  





Mood: listless
 
 


 
  2004.08.24  15.01
" ...the last letter ... "

" ... my friend Tinsel inspired me to be brave enough to share this old letter from a friend , a very nice friend whom i turned - down for  the sake of my dreams and freedom of  being young ..... it reminds me of who i am and what i am before ...... "

january 1996

My dear SHY ,

Only a few days more and i'll know whether i'll see you again or never more . Perhaps the last time that i saw you might turn out to be the last but only fate can tell.

Today as i sit by myself , i can't help but remember what we talked about last time .

You talked about your faults - that i only know your good side . You mentioned you're hardheaded . But hardheadedness becomes a fault only if there is no reason or logic behind it . You've mistaken hardheadedness for a flaw when in fact it is character - a person with determination .

Determination takes courage and persistence and i see those traits on you . It's seldom that i see those things in a person , especially one in your situation . Be determined and i know that you can achieve your goals and deams in life .

You also asked what is truth . Perhaps , you should also ask what is fact and what is reality .

A stone is a stone and that is a fact . You're a person and i'm another and these are facts . A glass filled with some water is a fact . But is it half empty or half full ? Which is true ? I guess it depends on what one see's and does not see , what one hears and does not hear , what one says and does not say , what one does and does not do and how one percieves or believes something .

Reality , on the other hand , is how one makes of one's life and how one lives one's life . How events affect one's life is reality .

And so , what is fact ? You're one person and me another and these are facts . You have feelings and i have feelings - but what is the truth ? You cannot ask others to tell you what is true . You and you alone can answer that question .

And what is real ? To me , having met you is real , talking with you is real , having your companionship is real . And to you , again , only you can answer what is real .

You also mentioned memories . But is their anything wrong with memories ? Are'nt memories what sustain people as they grow older and wiser ? if one does not have memories , then one has not experienced life - only one has experienced living .

This reminds me of a favorite song of a friend who was about to retire . And the song goes this way : ..." ... tatanda at lilipas din ako ... ngunit mayroong awitin  ... iiwanan sa inyong alala ... dahil minsan tayo'y nagkasama ... "

How poignant and true ! because when i think of him , I remember the talks , the jokes , the drinking , the night with the boys and all the experiences and the times we shared . And that's how i remember people - shared memories .

Experience is what one person goes through , but memories are time's shared . If memory is like music , then I'd rather have music than experience since the first will last until one's lifetime while the other is bound to be forgotten as time passes by .

And so , what will it be ? Will it be faults or character ? Willit be a fact , a truth or a reality ? or will it be experience or memory ?

I know that you are a profound person and i want to know more about that person . I believe that to know you better will help me know more about myself .

I just realized that the last time was the first time that you really opened up . If you decides to come , I hope that the relationship becomes more open and without reservations .

If I never see you again , so be it . Please think kindly of me sometimes . Take care . Still , I hope you'll come and I'll wait .

 

With best effort ,

EM     





Mood: melancholy
 
 


 
  2004.08.22  13.46
" funny sunday "

" ... i have some funny article here ... i found it in a certain newspaper , the author is unknown ... "

MADE IN JAPAN

A japanese businessman went to Australia.He hailed a cab (Ford) at the airport to take him to his downtown hotel , which was a considerable distance away . During the journey , a Honda drove past the taxi . The japanese businessman leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled , " Honda , very fast ! Made in japan ! " then smugly smiled at the driver .

After a while , a Toyota sped past the taxi . Again , the japanese man leaned out of the window and yelled , " Toyota , very fast !Made in japan !" ... displaying the same condescending smile . And then a Mitsubishi sped past the taxi .

For the third time , the japanese leaned out of the window and yelled , " Mitsubishi , very fast ! made in japan ! " The driver was a little angry , but he kept quiet . Finally , the taxi arrived at the hotel . The fare was AUS $300 .

The japanese businessman exclaimed , "Wah ... so expensive ! " The driver , with a satified smirk on his face replied , " Meter , very fast ! Made in Japan ! "    

 





Mood: funny
 
 


 
  2004.08.18  17.49
" windy wednesday "

" ... konnichiwa , it's windy wednesday but still the weather is hot and humid ... " mushi-atsui " as we call it ... the smell of fall is a little bit far away , but i'm waiting for it to come soon ... i don't know but there's magical thing about it ... it's the falling of leaves i think ? ...

I have something here to defined true frienship :

FRIENDS A to Z
(A)ccept you as you are ; (B)elieves in you ; (C)alls you up to say "hi" ; (D)oes'nt give up on you ; (E)nvisions the whole of you ; (F)orgive your mistakes ; (G)ives unconditionally ; (H)elps you ; (I)nvites you over ; (J)ust be with you ;(K)eeps you close at heart ; (L)oves you for who you are ; (M)akes the difference in your life ; (N)ever judges ; (O)ffers support ; (P)icks you up when your down ; (Q)uiets your fear ; (R)aises your spirits ; (S)ays nice things about you ; (T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it ; (U)nderstands you ; (V)alues you ; (W)alks beside you ; (X)plain things you don't understand ; (Y)ells at you when your not listening ; (Z)apps you back to reality .



Mood: calm
 
 


 
  2004.08.17  10.04
" a poem "

" ... i made this poem last July 30 , 2004 ... "

FOOLISH HEART
( shy of jspy )

I was holding him so close
i could feel the pounding of his heart
the man i was longing to hold
of this foolish heart of mine ,

I can't and i must'nt
do what it wants
but this foolish heart of mine
take what it wants ,

I want to tell the world
how crazy i am
to feel the painful love
of this foolish heart of mine ,

I can and i must
do what it told
for this foolish heart of mine
make one's life behold .

( dedicated to someone so " dear " )



Mood: artistic
 
 


 
  2004.08.15  16.21
"just watching"

8/14 sat - (for the record) my family went out for lunch , groceries and vidoes ... papa got this weird film "underworld" (vampire movie), he loves horror movies you know ... the big contrast of my likes ,(romance), anyhow we watched it together , otagaisama ... midnight comes ... i watched olympics live from Greece,Athens ... my favorite Ryoko Tani won a gold medal for 48 kg Judo - women , she's awesome ! ... this 5'ft gal can throw a 6 footer one ... where did she got those strenght ? ... wish i could be like her ...

8/15 sun - thats today ! ... doing nothing , just watching t.v., videos and dvds ...



Mood: amused
 
 


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